Dear God,

My heart is breaking. Have I fallen this far? God, have I fallen this far?

My life is so materialistic and so not like to one I feel you calling me too. Yet, I can't reconcile the life you want me to live with the one I want to live, the one society wants me to live.

Too often today it seems like the end goal, of even the church, is for monetary gain. Of the people, for the people. Is that really how how you want it? It seems like the church should be of the people you inspired, for YOU.

Literally a week ago I was bursting with joy that I can only say came only from You. But today, I feel weak, lost and unworthy. Despite you clearly taking care of me this week, i still feel like i can't trust you to do it again.

Through all this I'm reading a book about you, not your book the bible, but a book about you. And I'm reminded that what it all comes down to is a relationship with you. LORD, I desire a genuine relationship with you, do you desire one with me? Scripture says that the answer to that question is "yes" but I still feel totally unworthy of it. Can you for give my pride? My lust? My greed? I desperately hope so.

Your prodigal son,
David